Selamat HAri Raya Aidilfitri 2009

Raya is time to catch up with relatives and old friends. Those people who once you thought you would never live without them and suddenly time flies and you tended to forget them.
What I like most about old friends are how they would unintendedly reminds you how old you had grown, how fast time flies and how far you had been different from the young innocent berhingus you were. Oh, it is like you have a look at your old pics as my girlfriend did last night, I was surprise how fair my skin was, how young and energetic, it’s like, waah, did I changed this much? Yes, I was shocked; I do not have lots of pics of myself, being avoiding lenses and flashes, making that glamorous world away from me,heh. You are lucky if you do have a batch of pics of you growing up, you sure need to have a look at them, see and verify it, how evolved you are. As Exora, you’ll be amazed!!

And you would also surprised and regret to find out how much your close friends had suffered in the period you both had missing in touch and how you hope that you were there for them, on the name of good-old-friendship.

An element of surprise is a salt and pepper during raya. And it’s hit me quite hard. As I grown up, I learnt that what you are today is not what you will be tomorrow. Used to be a bright and brilliant student during secondary years, never guarantee you to drive an Altezza when you 26 years old. But I do meet old pals who had been behind the curtains of those bright and once brilliant young men, is now driving a brand new Altezza on age 26. Don’t ask me what those was-brilliant-guy ride. I hope a Prius, hahahaha.

But it’s never too late for a remedy. Time did pass and time do comes. I really hope those knots I had tightened will remain strong, would never lose again.

Kelate (Kelantan) Di Persada Dunia

Salah satu dari keunikan kelantan ialah minat orang orang kelantan untuk berniaga. Boleh dikatakan kemana-mana saya telah berkunjung, pasti ada pertanyataan dari orang tempatan berbunyi " orang kelantan ni suka berniaga".
Satu compliment yang agak membanggakan.
Sepanjang beberapa tahun merantau di negeri paling sibuk di Malaysia a.k.a Selangor, terlalu kerap terjumpa peniaga-peniaga kecil orang kelantan. Pergi sahaja ke bazar ramadan, pernyataan daya ini akan terbukti.
Apabila seorang kawan bertanya, kenapa di Selangor ni ramai sangat orang kelantan yang berniaga (sebenarnya takde lah ramai sgt kot)
Jawapan saya ialah, orang kelantan ramai yang sekolah tak tinggi, syarikat syarikat tak mau gaji, so meniaga lah, lagi pun selangor ni ramai orang bekerja, diaorang kena spend duit diaorang tu.

Beberapa hari lepas, saya secara tidak sengaja telah masuk ke web world economic forum dan juga secara tidak sengaja telah mendownload report mereka.

Alangkah terkejutnya saya bila mendapati cover report tersebut kelihatan begini

Cover report oleh World Economic Forum

:perhatikan kawasan bertanda merah

Close Up!!!


Ya adik adik. A scene from Pasar Siti Khadijah!!

Sekarang Kelantan di Persada Dunia!

p/s Agok agok guano pasar siti khadijah buleh masuk dale cover WEF ni? :D

Takziah.

In memory of my late grandmother.

That morning, after having my subuh prayer, i was lying on my bad, figuring what's ahead that day. Figuring what to wear to office and what to get for my iftar. Suddenly my phone rang, its from my sister, totally rare to have her call that early hour.

Grandma passed away.

I was shocked. Stunned. Still lying on the bed when she went off. Next is from my mother, same news and with a question, will i coming back? My answer is i'm not sure.

It took me a few minutes to make up my mind, to call my aunt to join her for ride home.

I'm not my grandma fav. I even keep my distance from her for few years. But she was still my grandma.

Today on her funeral, i reflected a lots of things that passed.

How my childhood was as a non favorite. I don't remember if there was any occasion when i have different meals compare to another cousins but i do remember that she never hugs me or call me her fav. She do once, that time i was nursing her in hospital. Keeping her company, feeding, washing and changing her diapers. That once she said to others how lucky she have me by her side. I am sure I blushed. But things changes once her favs arrived, weeks later. I felt like I'm more a "bibik" then, heh. That was when i far hearted. I was hunger for her appraisal, for her to thanks me and hold me like a throphy in front of others but i didnt get that. Its like i dont even exist once her fav appeared.

I created distance between us. I know it hurted my father a bit. And I know he understand my actions because he notice what happened. Later, between me and grandma, its no more grandson-grandmother , it was me trying to fill my responsibility for my father. Even on the funeral, when i decide to come home, at first its wasnt because i want to give her my last respect, i came home for my father.

On other side, I think I was wrong. What I did for her was my responsibility. I shouldnt expect her to make me her fav because I nursed her. Maybe the problem was I was expecting that by keeping her company and letting go my school and college holidays, I would be her fav was wrong at the first place. Rome wasnt build in one night. I was carried away with my frustration, was full with anger, whose defeited my sanity.

And as all regret story ended, I did not know if she died forgiving me. But I do forgive her if there any wrong doing. As they sat her in her grave, a thought accross my mind. It would be very nice if there is once that i managed to hug her.

I am certainly not in position of giving others any advice. But if there anything you could learn from my story is, grudge wont bring you anywhere. Most of the time its hurt so much when peoples we love do not apreciate us, but it is actually more painfull when we kind of hate those who we actually love.